Every year, the holiday season arrives at a time when society needs it most. We’re told this is the moment when families can reconnect, priorities fade, and joy naturally surrounds the space. Almost every corner of the globe is forced into this season of rest, and it is one that we’ve all anticipated for months.
But yet, even as hopeful as this season is, beneath it lies something much deeper. While at the surface, the holidays come with immense promise, it is also a quiet trigger to emotional and mental exhaustion. Instead of feeling renewed, people often feel unhealed, stretched thin, and shattered.
The reason being is because the holidays bring up long-avoided conversations to the table. Kids of divorced parents now have to navigate multiple gatherings at once. Families who are not on speaking terms are obligated to come together. Relatives who live far must deal with the complexity of getting to reunions in time. And finally, those who have lost loved ones are feeling particularly lonely and sensitive. That’s the unfortunate reality no one really talks about.
And the staggering data shows it. According to one source, nearly 89% of adults report heightened stress during the holidays, with family conflict ranking among the leading factors. That is roughly nine in 10 people walking into the holidays with mental strain, even when it is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year.
That disconnect comes from what Prudence Hatchett, Leadership Resilience Strategist and Mental Wellness Specialist, calls a false narrative of holiday happiness. It is a psychological concept that encourages people to perform rather than experience how they actually feel.
She explains, “Every year we tell people to ‘be joyful’ during the holidays, but the truth is that this season exposes emotional wounds that families spend the rest of the year avoiding. The pressure to pretend everything is fine is what makes the holidays hard, not the holidays themselves. Instead of forcing togetherness, families need to practice honest expectations.”
That is the emotional weight so many individuals carry, yet there is still a widening expectation to remain strong during this time. However, to get by, that is why Hatchett believes in transforming the holiday cheer into something that will sustain the mental overload.
She adds, “That may mean shorter visits, smaller gatherings, or conversations that stay within emotional limits. When people stop performing and start choosing what actually supports their well-being, the holidays become calmer and more meaningful. Giving yourself permission to honor your emotional capacity is the most powerful gift you can bring into the season.”
When people do not allow themselves to be transparent and honest about their feelings, the unexpressed emotions build over time. They pretend everything is fine at first, but eventually, other negative feelings like anxiety and depression creep in. What remains is individual pressure, and one that requires far more energy than most people have to give.
But on a much brighter note, stepping into this season does not have to be dreadful, and anyone can break the burdens in simple ways. Whether that means creating moments of break, allowing yourself to say ‘no’, or practicing healthy boundaries, there is an opportunity to redirect the narrative. When families can be authentic about what hurts and what they can realistically express, the mindset begins to heal.
Before we know it, Christmas and New Year’s will be here. And as the statistics have already shown us, a majority of adults are feeling the holiday weight incredibly hard. While only 41% of people report getting the proper support to cope with these negative emotions, the remainder of the population still has much work to do.
If it was not already urgent, families this holiday season might falter soon if mental health is not taken to heart. Maybe instead of anticipating happiness, let this be a time to finally let go of the picture-perfect holiday. In truth, this season is about rediscovering emotional strength that will last a lifetime.
